**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
