college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Mom said you looked used
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
