awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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