The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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