nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just got carded by a ten year old.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Randomize
