Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize