its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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