Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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