you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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