Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
