Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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