Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
