Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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