Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
BRING THE BAGELS
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
