Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
