ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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