The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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