i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
