apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
