a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
