i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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