Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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