Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
