i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
