hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
