Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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