When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
