Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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