It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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