i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
