the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize