You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize