you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
