you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
