So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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