We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
