I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
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