Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I think we might need a safe word for this...
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
