Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
