I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
