Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
high people should be assigned attendants
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
