so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
