its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize