Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
