I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
