okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
