Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
