I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
