Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
