her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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