a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
