I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
