Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
