thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
sex in a hospital.. check
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
