5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
