Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
