He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
So vagazzling was a success
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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