I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
