I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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