He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
