I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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