Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize