I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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