Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I would fuck him just for his dog
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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