I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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