went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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