Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize