Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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