So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Randomize